Lessons in communication and narrative persuasion
When I was a child, I got into a fight with my nephew over some imaginary bus keys (I regard my nephew Gaz – there are only six months between us – and his sister Mel as my brother and sister).
One sunny day, we were playing a game of ‘bus bus’, as we called it, in the front yard. The bus was a broomstick. One person would straddle the broomstick, and the other two would ‘climb on’ behind, and so we would drive around—essentially three children crab-walking a broomstick.
But one day we got into a fight because it was my turn to drive and Gaz would not give me the keys, claiming his turn had not been long enough. Bear in mind, these are imaginary keys. It frustrated the heck out of me and Gaz’s mum had to intervene to stop World War Three.
I still remember him holding his fist tight and every time I tried to take the keys he moved his fist slightly behind his back. It seemed so real, and I was beside myself.
I can laugh now, but there are some very valuable lessons in communication, in particular the power of shared belief in storytelling and narrative construction (within the context of persuasion and influence)—which are essential when it comes to, for example selling to somebody either face-to-face or through your marketing communications.
It is a powerful tool for communications, marketing and or sales (and a myriad other uses).
1. Create a shared reality
In our childhood game, the three of us had an unspoken agreement on an ‘imaginary framework’—the bus, the broomstick, the keys. The same goes for building a brand or credible reputation; for example, as a thought leader, in that we need to establish a common understanding and belief around your message through the power of storytelling. As children, we had ‘suspended’ disbelief – adults do this this when we read novels or watch Netflix.
When you frame your narrative well, your audience buys into it and starts to see the world through the lens you’ve created.
Lesson: Establish a narrative that resonates with your audience’s worldview. When you align your message with their beliefs and experiences, they are more likely to accept and adopt it.
How to establish a resonant narrative
- Understand your audience’s beliefs.
- Reflect their challenges.
- Use familiar story structures.
- Align with their aspirations
- Employ relatable symbols.
- Tell authentic stories.
- Maintain consistent messaging to build a shared reality.
2. The power of symbolism
We scrapped over those imaginary keys because they symbolised control and authority—in marketing and communications, products, logos, slogans, and even language can act as powerful symbols with a deeper meaning.
Thought leadership is about owning key concepts or ideas that symbolise your expertise (for example, Simon Sinek’s ‘Start with Why’). When you hold the ‘keys’ to a powerful idea—an idea is all it takes—people turn to you for guidance.
Lesson: Identify what symbolic elements or concepts you can ‘own’ in your industry. This could be a unique phrase, a signature service, or a distinct approach that becomes synonymous with your brand.
3. Establish social contracts with your audience
Our belief in the imaginary keys was based on an unspoken agreement in the game. In marketing, this mirrors the social contract you establish with your customer. It involves trust and consistency.
If we make the claim that our services solve a particular problem, your audience expects you to deliver on that promise. Breaking this contract (e.g., by overpromising and underdelivering) disrupts the shared reality and trust.
Lesson: Maintain the promises you make to your audience. Consistency and delivering on expectations reinforce the shared narrative and build trust.
4. Use narrative to anchor beliefs
I believed I couldn’t drive the bus without the keys because the narrative was deeply embedded in our play. In adult communication we call these anchoring techniques—psychological tools that establish a belief or an idea as a cornerstone. When we create a compelling narrative, our audience becomes anchored to it to the extent that it makes it harder for them to see alternatives
Lesson: Create a strong anchor in your messaging. Whether it’s a unique selling point or a key benefit of your service, make it the focal point of your narrative so it becomes the default belief for your audience.
5. Leverage body language and non-verbal tools
In your game, body language (e.g., Gaz clutching the keys tight) reinforced the shared belief. For thought leaders and marketers, non-verbal cues like confidence, tone, visuals, and brand aesthetics play a huge role in how your message is received. Rember Gaz moved the keys behind his back—a powerful gesture in the context.
The way you present yourself and your brand can enhance the credibility of your narrative, making it feel more real and trustworthy.
Lesson: Pay attention to your delivery — whether it’s through visuals, brand tone, or even your own body language in presentations. These non-verbal signals help reinforce your message and make it more believable.
6. Understand the role of ego in decision-making
My conflict with Gaz was partly about control—who got to drive the bus. In marketing and thought leadership, understand that your audience’s decision-making is influenced by their need for control and autonomy. Trying to force your narrative or oversell can backfire because it threatens their sense of autonomy.
Lesson: Position your message in a way that allows your audience to feel in control. Use language that invites them to make their own decisions rather than feeling pressured. For example, using phrases like “Imagine if you could…” or “What if you had the keys to…” puts the power back in their hands.
7. Commitment to the narrative builds credibility
In our game, we were committed to the imaginary scenario, making it believable. Your commitment to your message and consistency in your stance are crucial. Wavering or frequently changing your position can weaken your credibility. Stick to your narrative with conviction.
Lesson: Be consistent and confident in your messaging. Even if you’re introducing new ideas, ensure they align with your overall narrative and brand values.
8. Tap into the power of belief
Ultimately, our belief in the imaginary keys made them real in the context of our game. In marketing, belief is a powerful driver. When you create a compelling enough story, your audience starts to believe in the transformation you offer, even before they experience it. This is why testimonials, case studies, and storytelling are effective — they create belief through relatable narratives.
Lesson: Use storytelling to create a vision that your audience can believe in. Make the benefits of your service or product feel as tangible as those imaginary keys.
I still can’t remember who won the battle of the keys and broomstick…